Sunday, December 02, 2007

Yo, re-entry

Tomorrow I re-enter the workaday world. I have been out of the office since the afternoon of November 14, and was on vacation for about 10 days and then at home sick all last week. I'm still sick, but I'm going to work anyway because I have a ton of stuff to do and my Internet connection at home SUCKS so I can't work from here.

It snowed today and it's bitterly cold. Tomorrow my feet shall be bedecked in cashmere knee socks and my new polka-dot Wellies, and my feet shall be toasty and dry.

I need to stay the hell off of ebay. I am finding all these weird sub-genres of Bad Art. Here's one I'd never seen before: kittens in a bowl.

Now, I'm not a cat person, but I had a cat in college. Even taking into account that she was a mean, devious, spiteful cat, I do still think she was a reasonable representative of her species. And not once did I ever see her hang out in a bowl. Does this actually make her a freak? Was she a strange cat because she did not loll in serving dishes, cheerfully sliding around in the Corelle from the Goodwill? Perhaps she was not a reasonable representative of her species after all, if the following exhibits from ebay are any indication of the real life of cats. Or kittens, at least. Read on, if you dare:


1) WTF is wrong with these kittens? They look feral. The one in the lower left looks like it is shirking away from some unseen figure with a machete. These are not happy kittens. They're all "Dudes, we're already in a bowl; we're not heading anywhere good fast."
2) Why did someone FRAME this under GLASS? As a memento of Strange Cousin Bobby, the one who put kittens in a bowl, and then put the bowl in the microwave?
3) Who is the weirdo who OUTBID MY HIGH BID OF $19.72 for this monstrosity?
4) Why did I want this enough to bid $19.72 for it?

Exhibit B: Two KITTENS in a Bowl ~ 1903 Sheahan Pub

1) Here we have two kittens in a soup tureen, apparently this is the kind of bowl kittens are in before they are in a regular-sized bowl (see above).
2) These kittens, apparently, are "HOT STUFF" according the the image caption. Why? Simple. Because the person who created and laid-out this image is a total freak. From the item title, it appears this may be an advertising postcard for a pub or restaurant. I don't know about you, but the kittens in a tureen really make me just want to run there for a meal. Hot stuff, indeed.
3) I just want to state for the record that these kittens, as with the kittens above, are not happy kittens.

Exhibit C: KITTEN IN BOWL Italian Charm Link charms cats cat kitty

1) Here we have a charming, um, charm, of a--you guessed it--kitten in a bowl. For all those times when you're out and about and you think, "Wow, you know what I'd love to see right about now? A kitten in a bowl! Oh! I have one around my neck right now. Ain't life grand?"
2) Who wants to wear a charm with a picture of a kitten in a bowl around his/her neck? Wait! I know who. Rachael Ray.